The question “Do you know where you will be in five years?” comes at me in a lot of different directions now that I am settled out of college in my post grad life (it feels like more than ever). I get asked by strangers, family members, and coworkers constantly about the future. Personally, I think these questions can be very challenging to answer and are almost unfair to ask (and I’m guilty of asking people as well). In the past, it has always been a clear answer to the question, or it was more acceptable to say, “I don’t know”. “Where are you going to college?” (easy answer once you figure it out). “Where are you going after you graduate from Baylor?” (easy answer once you figure it out) Now, I get asked questions like “Do you think you ever want to do something else for a job?” or “Do you think you’ll stay in Dallas forever?” And, I know that these questions come from a completely innocent place and I would love to talk to people about the future, but it can be overwhelming to think that far ahead for someone just figuring out this new phase of life: a new city, a new job, and new friends while also balancing college friends, old friends, family, and my hometown.

I recently started a nursing job, and I honestly could not ask for a better first job. I don’t know if this is just a nursing thing (I don’t think it is), but the number of times I have gotten asked since I started working six months ago if I ever want to try a different department, move hospitals, stay bedside, or move back to Colorado eventually is crazy, and my answer is – I don’t know.  I am not even out of my residency and people want to know what my next step is. And that’s okay because I would like to know too, but that is not how God made us or this life, and it’s not how He wants us to live our lives. At 24, I like to have fun, be with my friends, and do well in my job. I’m figuring out how to have, save and spend money. I am learning what it means to have a boss and what being friends with coworkers looks like. I am figuring out how to balance my new life in Dallas with going home to be with my parents, and hopefully traveling to see new places. I have a lot going on and a lot of things I aspire to do, but I haven’t necessarily mapped out my future, and I don’t think many 24-year-olds should have a five-year plan. If you do, write it down and check back in 5 years (I’d be curious to see how that worked out).

I also think this applies to every age – not just 20 somethings (although the twentieth decade seems to have a lot of dramatic change and growth). New phases of life come and go, and you cannot always plan them, and they are not always in your control. Take my parents for example. They just built a new house in the mountains about 2.5 hours from their house that they have been in for almost 20 years. I know they get asked weekly if not more what they are planning to do with the mountain house, if they are going to move out of the house they are in now, if they’re ever going to live in the mountains full time, or if not, then how much time they will spend at each place. Again, all are great questions, but it’s okay for them to say, “I don’t know”. I guess what I am trying to say is, as cheesy as it sounds, I have a newfound appreciation for the present and for the first time since maybe forever I don’t necessarily HAVE to know or plan for where I’ll be in five years. So, thank you so much for asking and for caring, but “I don’t know” and that answer is okay.

I hope I grow in my career and don’t stay in the same place for the next 45 years (fingers crossed), and that I don’t live in my 1000 sq foot apartment forever, and that I make new friends, maybe get married and start a family, maybe move back to my hometown. But, when the day comes and it’s time for a change, I will know (and I’ll let everyone else who cares know). For now, I am figuring out what it means to be where I am currently – and there’s lots I could share about that. I can’t talk about this topic without talking about God. Looking back on my life, I am so thankful for how I ended up where I am today, and it’s so clear He placed me in different places and gave me different people so that I would end up here. God has a way of leading His people where He wants them to be, and unlike you at 20 years old – He does have a plan for your life, and He does know where you will be in five years, 10 years, and 50 years. And thank goodness He does. So, everyone reading who doesn’t know exactly where you’ll be in five years (that should be all of you) take comfort in the fact that He does, and that if you are open hearted to it, He will lead you there.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “if it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that”

James 4:13-15

I do not want these thoughts to come across in a way that makes it seem like I do not think about the future, set goals, plan, dream up lives for myself, or that I am upset by those who have asked me about the future. I just wanted to talk about how, as a 20 something, it is impossible to plan out the next 5 years of your life when you are just figuring out what you want your life to look like now.

So, don’t feel the pressure when you get asked at Christmas where you are going to live next year. Don’t feel like you have to rush ahead when your distant relative asks you as a newly married couple when there will be babies at the family gatherings. Don’t get stressed when your coworker asks if you plan on staying at that job for much longer. And don’t freak out when someone asks you and your new boyfriend what the future holds. It’s okay (and much more normal) to just say “I don’t know”. Don’t let anyone make you uncomfortable about where you are in your life by asking how and what you are going to change. Take comfort in Him, His plans, and in appreciating exactly where you are because you won’t ever be right there again. So, change what you want to change, plan what you are doing this Saturday night, and that next trip home to see your mom, and then the trip to see your best friend in her new city. Thank God for where He’s placed you, and then in five years look back and see how far you’ve come.