Something strange happens between the excitement of getting your first job before you graduate college and then realizing a couple months into that job what this new reality is.  It’s interesting in college how you have this specific goal of something you are working for. All the steps and education that are required for you to get to the point where you can achieve that goal are laid out in front of you. That’s the reason that college exists – to help you get to this point so you can have your dream job. Well, now that most of my friends are working and with a general survey done, I would say the reality of a “dream job” at our age is not very common and also, not necessary. I would also go out on a limb and say anyone who has their “dream job” right out of college is either lying or they got very lucky. 

First of all, I think it is very normal to not feel passionate about what you are doing. It’s a strange feeling when you graduate from school and no longer have an end goal. When you start that first job, there is almost a sense of doom weighing over you because there is no end date for it (there’s been an end date for everything in your life so far). It’s not like school where you will work for 4 years at this job, so that you can get to the next level. You are just working there… forever? For me, this sense of not having an end goal was foreign and something I am still adjusting to. Another thing that adds to this dread is when you look around and see people who have been at this job for years and years with no movement. It makes you wonder if that will be you getting honored for giving 30 years or even 10 years or… 5. Because there’s no goal in front of you, sometimes it’s harder, if not impossible, to find the passion behind what you are doing, or even remember why you spent the last chunk of your life working for this moment.

This passion can be especially hard to grasp when you are at the bottom of the food chain at this job, you are sitting at one desk for 8 hours/5 days a week, you have to wake up at the crack of dawn everyday, you don’t even see your co-workers in person because you work from home, or worse, you see too much of your co-workers. On top of ALL of that, are you even making enough money to make up for all the other things I just mentioned – I’m guessing no? Another thing that is not overly talked about – even though you are making more money than you have ever before, why are you not saving that much of it? Where is the money going and how can I make more of it? 

All these questions and thoughts seem to be very normal when you come out of college excited to start working. Even if you know you are not at your dream job, these thoughts are still running through your head. Obviously, I don’t have the answers because I have a lot of these thoughts and more when it comes to my first ‘big girl job’, but I think the most important thing is trusting yourself and knowing God’s timing is better than yours. You are not supposed to be making enough money to save as much as you want to right now or to be able to buy a new car or move into a nicer apartment or house. You aren’t expected to be best friends with your co-workers who are 30 years older than you, and you definitely aren’t supposed to be passionate about the sucky project your rude boss just put you on. You also aren’t supposed to feel like your job is taking over your life or even your priority at the ripe age of 24.

I can guarantee most people who have lived life longer than me would agree that building a career, finding ways to be passionate through your job, and making the money you hope to make takes time. Would you really want your first job to be satisfying enough that you stay there forever with no room for growth? If you need more encouragement, look at Rachel Green. She started at the very bottom serving coffee, then went on to organizing hangers as a personal assistant, then a personal shopper for Bloomingdales, then an executive at Ralph Lauren at age 34 (it only took 10 years for her to get her dream job…!) If you need more idols to look up to, don’t forget about Meredith Grey (36 when she became an attending), Rory Gilmore (31 when she was a successful freelance journalist), Carrie Bradshaw (37 when she published her book), and Jess Day (36 when she became principal). Apparently, we should wait until our 30s to stress about our career moves.    

And, all that said, it’s important to know there is still room for growth even though there is not a specific “end goal” in sight. This growth doesn’t have to be something you are fixated on or that ends up holding you back in your current job. The growth will come with time, opportunity, and discovering what you want to do with the skills you have picked up along the way. Your first job is not supposed to be your dream job and it’s ok to have expected more. But remember to ask yourself the question: Why? Why did you accept that job in the first place? Maybe you accepted it because it is in the city you want to live in. Maybe it’s the best job to use as a stepping stone to your next one. Maybe it was the only offer you got, but at least you aren’t living in your parents’ basement. Maybe you have to just remind yourself why you wanted to be a teacher during that painful five o’clock wake up call. One of my professors in nursing school told me that reminding yourself of your “why” will be the most important thing throughout your career, and I think this applies to everyone. Your first job serves a purpose and it’s not to make you feel like you don’t have a purpose anymore, so don’t lose sight of why you are doing what you are doing, and don’t try to skip ahead. We will check back in on this in about 10 years 🙂